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Hey everyone,

a happy, fresh and new 2012 for each one of you!!!

I haven't posted here in a long while, because I moved over to facebook for staying in touch with people (Gwydion B. Rose) and have my other blog to express my Gifts as the Sex Faery I am (Courting the Serpents).

Though, what Facebook doesn't do for me is to provide a space where I can express all of my Witchiness boldly. A lot of my regular friends are connected to me there as well and while most of them would consider most of my contents to be "witch-related", almost all of them don't really know what it actually means to be Witch, what my Craft looks like and how enchanted my Life really is. They see it as some kind of hobby, I guess. Something I am interested in and engage with for entertainment. They don't see that I don't really have a choice here. That I was born a Witch, that I never had the choice to be blind to the spirits. I mean I could take drugs to numb myself and my senses. I could use them and I would become blind to the spirit world, but this would be nothing but self-destructive.
Without drugs I really can't ignore the spirits. They were with me from my early childhood on and they won't go away. I don't want them to go away either, because this is who I am. A Witch. A Person of Power who bridges the worlds, who has a foot in all of them, can access them and draw information and power from them. A Wise Man, who finds Wisdom in his bones, his blood, the stars, the sounds of the earth, the underwolds and upperworlds. He, who is of all the worlds and doesn't really belong to either of them. He, whose place is at the edges of the worlds, the city, the ordinary lieves of the people around him. A Witch can't choose to be ordinary. It's not in their nature. Like a bird can't breath under water. Like a tree can't grow without light. This is where "choice" is not given. This is where the Laws of Nature hold their sway and a Witch is as bound by them as any other living being.

That said, a Witch isn't better than any other person. A Witch's tools and gifts don't hold more or less value than those of a smith, a gardener, a doctor or a banker. They are just different.

I don't know if I will start to post here regularly again, but it's good to have a place to rant a bit that is just for my people.



New Blog post up!

Hey everyone,

in my "Courting the Serpents"-blog there is a new post up that I wanted to write for quiet a while. It not only features shortly some information about the God Antinous - who I find highly interesting at the moment -, but as well goes into some depth concerning the question wether or not the ancient Greeks along with their Gods were 'gay' and if modern day labels for our sexualities do actually meet the "human sexual experience" of all times and places. Your comments and thoughts are highly appreciated!



new poem


Under a starlit sky of lunar fire

I rise to walk among the stars

right into night

and Outer Space

that I have known

to be within.

There is no Path

that I can't see,

no secret

and no mystery.

There is just flesh,

and bone and heart

and fever begging

for a start


to set things free.


Hey everyone,

it's time for taking a look again on how things are turning out with my mother and my abuse survival (check the "abuse" tag for context if you haven't read the previous posts on that, please).

The relationship to my mother has changed. Not because she has changed, but because I have. My mother actually seems to be the perfect example of a full grown 100% narcissist, which means among other things: She is not going to change at all. She has neglected my reality since I was a small kid and isn't going to accept it now, that I am grown up and she has grown even older. Over the last 6 months she has proven again and again that she is not really interested in my feelings nor perceptions as long as they don't fit her reality and the stories she wants to tell herself. Which is fine since it's her right to be self-deceptive. It's my right to define my own reality, though, and since I finally made that realization back in march, when I was telling her my point of view clearly and without hiding, I stayed true to it and to myself. Which is a great developement worth celebrating! Since I decided that I have a right to have my own feelings, perceptions and needs, I kept true to my Self building Strength.

Of cause there have been doubt and fear from time to time, but with the support of my friends, my "heart family" and my Gods I survived and grew stronger. As a matter of fact, I have the feeling that my life is getting better and better since I accepted and claimed my freedom. True love is coming in, new people, places and opportunities. The best part: I am ready for them. I am ready for a Self-defined life, for beauty, joy, prosperity and laughter. I'm ready to accept that I am lovly and deserve to be loved just because I live and breath. I'm ready to accept, that my pure presence is a blessing to all the worlds and that I'm therefore safe to be seen. I am not just surviving, I'm striving – and that is magic.

Thank you for your support on this way, for being present with me, for being a Witness on this journey! Has the journey ended yet? I don't think so. Though what I know is, that I'm no longer afraid of what's coming next, because I know Strength within me. And Beauty. And Love.

Thanks again!



Watching Isn't Doing

It's just a thought right now, but things are quiet unreal nowadays, aren't they? Movies, internet, porn, skype, digital music, facebook, ... . They all try to convince us that this is the real life, that sex, friendship, music and art are really available to us at almost no cost no matter where we are and whenever we like to have them. Yet what they present us with in reality are illusions and shadows. They are not real experiences. They don't let us experience what they are trying to sell themselves with: skin, smell, touch, hug, kiss, adventure, actual conversations, intimacy, connection, travel, ... . They are no substitute for real living. They are no substitude for the real thing that's being alive. They can't fool our animal natures endlessly. They have their place in the modern world, but they are not what they look like and maybe that's something that's worth to be remembered in our "new cyber-age". That if we want our souls and bodies to be nourished and vibrant with life, we better get out to create something real and to have an actual experience.


May. 27th, 2011

Hey everyone,

I have a new homepage online featuring some of my paintings, poems and stuff. PLease, check it out if you haven't yet!




Hey everyone,

I feel like I haven't posted here in ages and maybe that's even true. In the last months I have been so overly BUSY with good and not so good things, all kinds of integration work and Self-Birthing - and I have found that Self-Birthing really is the beste name to frame that process and experience I am undertaking now and have been undertaking since last Samhain at least. It is a process of Self-realisation and this naturally is a challenging project. As you, dear readers, will know, I had and have to face a LOT about my past, abuses I suffered from and healing works that needed and need to be done. In a way - abusive past or not - this is a process everyone of us who seeks Self-Posession has to undergo at some point. At some point we have to let go the masks and experiences of the past in order for us to move on without them framing and defining our experiences and being any longer. If it's Self-definition we are striving for everything but Self is a bad place to look at in our search (though aknowledging that our Self is reflecting EVERYTHING is helpful every once in a while as well).
Well, I don't want to ramble endlessly over this process right now, but what I want to tell you is this: Labour is over it's critical phase and close to it's end. The light being that I am is already sticking out it's head and more. I see it. I AM it. Not every second of the day, but at an increasing amount of time. I don't really know how it will be to live as this new/original Self - and how could I? It is through experience that I will learn and grow accustomed to Me. Only life lived can give us a taste of life. Thus this is what I'm going to do: Breathing, living, being, changing, aligning EVERYTHING. That's not a small thing, it is huge indeed, but I have chosen to follow that path before I was born and won't stop walking it now that I am.



May. 6th, 2011

A Witch that comes too close to the center of hir society eventually ends up at a stake of some kind or is at least highly endangered to do so.

Yes? No? Maybe? Discuss! :) (you might want to substitute "Mystic" or "Poet" for "Witch")